IT now becomes patently clear, if you are a lonely guy - there's one sure path to success - be a nerd.
In the fantasy world of film the meek who get sand kicked in their funny faces will triumph and inherit the happy closing credits complete with kisses, clichés and marriage.
Norman Wisdom was doing it back in the 50s and since then even innovative chaps like Steve Coogan and John Cleese play the likeable wimps with attitude who get the gorgeous leading lady in the end.
The Animal is a strange hybrid of a comedy. It mixes every gratuitous joke from 'National Lampoon's Animal House' to 'Police Academy' as well as 'There's Something About Mary'.
Throw in a few 'how-can-they-get-away-with-that?' type of sight gags from the likes of 'American Pie' and you have this latest highly amusing but ultimately unsatisfying comedy creature.
It is from the producers of 'Deuce Bigalow - Male Gigolo' (can't recall that one at the Oscars) and despite just being over 80-minutes long it packs in a lot of unsubtle scenes - both visual and verbal.
The hero is Marvin played with acrobatic verve by Rob Schneider who is also co-producer and screen writer.
Marvin wants to follow his late, brave dad into the police force in leafy nothing-much-happens Elkerton.
Echoes here, indeed, of a Norman Wisdom film with the same plot.
Marvin copes with a slimy bullying copper who makes life hell for our moron who does, however, have a very big heart.
This is where 'Police Academy' comes in as the hopeful cadet tries to overcome a must-pass assault course. He fails - spectacularly.
While out jogging, this harmless animal lover meets a beautiful girl with animal passions - Rianna, played by sexy star Colleen Haskell.
She runs a sanctuary for feathered and four-legged friends and falls in love with Marvin. Nerds 1- Smoothies 0.
But then the plot interferes with the ongoing lavatorial humour and relentless slapstick.
Marvin's luck changes when he is involved in a near fatal car crash - full marks here for the special effects, stunts and make-up teams.
A mad scientist uses animal organs to re-build Marvin. He returns to his world and becomes a supercop thanks to his newly-found animal instincts - from sense of smell to sound and amazing agility.
There is, however, a downside which brings most of the telegraphed laughs - he behaves like an animal - a REAL animal - every now and then and in every sense of the word.
Schneider looks and acts like a cross between Michael Keaton, Jim Carey and Adam Sandler - the latter is executive producer who even makes a guest appearance.
Ed Asner, who once played Lou Grant on TV, is Chief Wilson a character who is sadly never fully developed.
The film does irritate at times when the gags are forced on the cinemagoer, who is already coping with an unstructured storyline.
But if you want to let your hair down and laugh out loud at some outrageous observations then 'The Animal' will suit you.
It's barking mad with a twist in the tale...or should that be tail?
See, it's catching.