I may not be a mother yet, but I spend enough time around people who have children to know that motherhood is one of the biggest pressures a woman can ever face.

Five decades ago, it went without saying that women were the primary caregivers.

They could go out to work, and some did, but if they had children, it was extremely rare to find a woman whose main job was a career and not staying at home to look after her child.

Now, years later, things appear to be totally different.

Men staying at home to look after children while their wives become the breadwinners at work is nothing out of the ordinary, yet it seems to me that women still can’t quite shake the feelings of guilt, and they are the ones exerting the pressure on each other to do the ‘right’ thing when it comes to their careers.

But really, can women actually ever win? The critics are out in full force, whoever you are.

There’s the woman in her mid to late thirties who doesn’t have a partner, having to face the inevitable barrage of questions about why she isn’t settling down to have a family yet.

Or there’s the one who is content with a partner and a great career, but is constantly asked why she isn’t having children yet.

When she does finally have children and wants to go back to the career she worked so hard for, she faces yet more judgment.

What is also sad is how lots of new mums would actually choose to stay at home with their baby, but financial issues mean they have no choice but to go back to work - where they spend most of the working day feeling guilty.

No wonder it’s so difficult to be a woman in today’s world.

What is so wrong about trying to achieve what actually makes us happy, rather than conforming to what social attitudes tell us we should be doing?

If being a stay-at-home mum to five children is what makes you happy, you should be able to do it without judgment (if you are able to). Equally, if you want to devote your life to your successful career, why shouldn’t you?

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