EXTRA marital affairs, foreign driving habits, fugitive criminal siblings - what would you tell police to avoid a speeding penalty?
All these excuses and many more have been used by motorists in Cheshire attempting to avoid penalty points and a £60 fine for exceeding the speed limit.
Medication, affairs, stealing the family savings - people will do anything to avoid a speeding fine.
Cheshire Safety Camera Part-nership has revealed some of the wackiest excuses as it launches its No Excuses road safety campaign aimed at reducing speed-related collisions on the region's roads.
Perhaps the most outlandish involved a supposed fugitive broth-er-in-law getting behind the wheel: 'He had to flee to Florida because the police had obtained a warrant for his arrest after he ransacked my sister's home and fled with family savings,' claimed the car's registered owner.
'If he has moved address, please could you let me know as his friend has a crush on my sister and she will be able to find out where he has moved to.'
The excuse was unsuccessful, however, and the car owner received the speeding penalty.
Lisa Lafferty, spokeswoman for the camera partnership, said: 'There are lots of excuses drivers give to justify their speeding and although some of them do raise a smile, the issue is very serious.
'Our campaign has been developed after research suggested drivers always have an excuse for speeding, but there is really no excuse for being a hazard to other road users.'
The No Excuses campaign uses shocking visual imagery to demonstrate what can happen if motorists continue to ignore the speed limit.
A survey of more than 2,000 motorists revealed that drivers often try to excuse their behaviour, particularly when driving to work.