Consultant paediatrician Dr Ravi Jayaram from the Countess of Chester Hospital has shared his thoughts after the parents of terminally ill baby Charlie Gard ended their legal fight to take him to the US for experimental treatment.
A lawyer representing Chris Gard and Connie Yates yesterday told the High Court ‘time had run out’ for the baby.
Mr Gard said it meant his ‘sweet, gorgeous, innocent little boy’ will not reach his first birthday on August 4.
Dr Jayaram, who is also a parent, told BBC Radio 5 Live about his approach when dealing with tragic cases where a child has a life-shortening illness.
Firstly, he understood why mums and dads will always cling to hope but explained that medics must remain objective.
He said: “I think as a parent that’s absolutely normal and right. In fact I would be concerned if a parent didn’t actually find any hope and cling onto things. My job, our job as doctors, is no longer to do the 1950s style paternalistic, ‘You do what I say, I’m the doctor, there, there’. I see my job now is helping people to make informed decisions.
“We all have a wealth of information at our finger tips, it’s just a click away, but a lot of that information isn’t necessarily quality controlled so I would sit with parents, if they came to me and said ‘Look, I’ve read about this. What do you think?’ .
"I would look at that evidence. I would look at that information. If I wasn’t sure I would research it myself and talk to people and more often than not I would be able to come back to parents and say 'Look, actually in reality this isn’t what it says on the tin’.
“Now sometimes that relationship breaks down. It’s a case of managing expectations. Sometimes in my job it’s great because I can tell people things I want to tell them and things I know they want to hear but also in my job sometimes I have to tell people things I really don’t want to have to tell them and they really don’t want to hear.
"There’s never an easy way to do that. I don’t think it’s become any easier the more experienced I’ve got. I’ve been a paediatrician for 25 years and each time I’m in this situation, it’s difficult.”
Dr Jayaram said becoming a parent himself had ‘completely changed’ his perspective.
“I think until you become a parent you can sympathise but you just can’t empathise in the same way. I think I have a much better understanding of a parent’s perspective.
"Now I’ve never been in the situation where I’ve had to make decisions for my own children of such importance but when we make these decisions with parents the important thing is there has to be a trusting relationship which we’ve built up over years.”
Talking about the impact of tragic cases on medics as well as the family, he explained: “It’s very hard for parents because no parent wants their child to die but it’s also – and I don’t think people have appreciated how hard this is – it’s also exceptionally hard for staff involved because on the one hand we have to remain absolutely objective and evidence-based but we've known these children and families for a long, long time. We have emotional investment as well.”
