I'm not angry, I’m just disappointed.
Previous visits to Et Alia had lulled me into a false sense of security. The food was fine, the views were stunning, and the service had always been reasonable in the past.
But.
As my parents and I sauntered down Sandy Lane on an unseasonably warm May day – my 31st birthday, as it happened – we checked the time, noticing that the perpetual roadworks down the road had delayed our entry into Et Alia, and we would be a few minutes late.
At the risk of melting before arriving there, we quickened our pace from ‘stroll’ to ‘brisk’, not wishing to be too tardy.
Cluelessly lost soul
If only we had known. Upon our arrival, we noticed the views from the restaurant overlooking the River Dee and the meadows were more splendid than ever, helped by the brilliant sunshine. Fresh food was being cooked in the impressive oven on display and, in truth, there was only one thing missing – someone to show us to our pre-booked table.
A couple of minutes of awkward hanging around later, I stepped out into no man’s land, giving the perfect impression of a cluelessly lost soul, whereupon one of the staff finally spotted us.
Unfortunately, all the tables outside had been taken up by people making the most of the weather, so we were placed indoors, with a still-superb view of the outside world, and our menus handed to us.
We opted for a round of Peronis to drink and, for the starter, a pane al aglio with garlic – a garlic pizza, in effect – to split between three.
Having made our minds up, we waited. And waited.
And waited.
During this time, the phone at reception would ring frequently, then ring out. Perhaps it was a persistent Claudio Ranieri looking to take his title-winning Leicester City squad out for a treat, but we’ll never know.
Oh dear
During our wait, the combination of walking in the hot afternoon sun and subsequently sitting in a restaurant with large windows inviting the sunshine meant we began to overheat. Nice as the views are, some stronger air conditioning wouldn’t go amiss.
It was 50 minutes since we had arrived that the starter finally made its appearance. But – oh dear – the garlic pizza bread wasn’t hot. Clearly it had been cooked some time ago, not been picked up, and had cooled and dried out.
This was unsatisfactory. When the waiter came round again, we said the bread wasn’t good enough, and asked for a new starter.
A few minutes later, garlic pizza bread mark II came round, and this was much more to our liking. The bread was decent enough, although the garlic butter was a little lacking.
After a further half-hour wait, any good vibes I had from turning 31 (if such a thing exists) had long since dissipated. Fortunately, the main courses finally arrived, and were – phew – piping hot.
I had selected the linguine gamberoni piccante, which came with garlic tiger prawns, chilli, cherry tomatoes and courgette ribbons.
It was a little overly spicy for my tastes, but the linguine was tasty and the prawns plentiful and satisfying chewy. Picking a spicy dish while already melting from Mr Sun’s rays was an ill-judged decision.
My dad selected the arnata pizza – duck and spring onions. It was well presented and went down a treat. The quality of the food was somewhat making up for lost time.
As for my mum, she had a custom-made pizza from a margherita base by adding chicken, ham and mushrooms. The custom combination was a suitable success.
But our patience had been tested to its limits, and while we were placated by the belated arrival of our food, we weren’t in any mood to pick a dessert. We made our excuses and left – at least the waiter apologised once more for the less-than-speedy service.
I don’t intend to be mean in this review, because as I mentioned at the beginning, I have dined here previously and had a good time. Perhaps with it being a Sunday, the restaurant was short-staffed and unprepared for what was a reasonably high number of customers (but it had to be said the staff present didn’t exactly look like they were rushed off their feet).
At your own risk
Rather, treat this review as a public service announcement, in the style of those ones from the 70s where Jon Pertwee reminded kids about ‘Splink’ and Donald Pleasance was the Spirit of Dark and Lonely Water.
By all means go to Et Alia if you wish – the food, especially the pizzas, are decent value for money, and I don’t fault the chefs for what they prepared (the reason I’ve knocked a few marks off the ‘quality of food’ is from the starter being left out and no longer being tasty).
But do so at your own risk, as there is a chance the service will be miserably lacklustre like it was on the day I went – my birthday, let’s not forget.
Oh, and on a hot, sunny day, sit near an open window if you insist on sitting inside the restaurant, otherwise you’ll melt.
Quality of food: 6/10
Service: 2/10
Atmosphere/surroundings: 6/10
Value for money: 6/10
Food brag rating (how good it looks): 3/5
Food hygiene rating: 5/5 (from www.scoresonthedoors.org.uk)
Total: 28/50
What does TripAdvisor say? Average rating 4/5. “Good food, extremely poor service”
Where is it? Sandy Lane, Dee Banks, Chester CH3 5UX. 01244 320088
