THOSE of you lucky enough to have attended Everton’s official end of season awards may have had your fill of acceptance speeches and gongs – but Royal Blue couldn’t let the season close without dishing out a few of its own plaudits.

It’s been a strange, topsy turvy campaign which has ultimately left most Bluenoses wondering ‘what might have been’. But there have been more than a few moments to savour along the way.

Anyone who read the Echo’s season review this week will know our verdict on the serious points of order from the 2010/11 season, but here are a few more categories that didn’t quite make the list.

The ‘Did I really just say that to a journalist award?’ : “If Barcelona comes, I’d go on a bicycle with a large flag to get there”. So said John Heitinga before the season had even began. Heits made it hard for supporters to love him with some of his attributed comments, but the Dutch World Cup finalist ultimately showed the Goodison faithful that he cares about the Blue shirt with some strong displays – he just occasionally forgets to say ‘no comment’.

The ‘Closest thing Goodison has come to a Riot’ award: Goes to Huyton’s tough-tackling finest Tony Hibbert, who didn’t quite manage to get his long-awaited first Everton goal, but did spark dreams of pitch invasion in the Gwladys Street every time he entered the opposition area. It will happen!

The ‘Why didn’t I just turn off Fifa 10 when I first looked at the clock’ award goes to...Who else? Jermaine Beckford. The pacy striker ended on a high with his George Weah-esque stunner against Chelsea, but being late for kick-off of the Blues’ dismal FA Cup exit against Reading was not his finest hour. Even if he had the credible excuse of a horrifically-congested M62 after a bad crash.

The ‘Relentless Twitter banter’ award, is tweeted forthwith to skipper Phil Neville, who dishes out some wickedly-barbed messages (never more than 140 characters long!) to everyone from Piers Morgan, to his brother Gary, and team-mate Seamus Coleman. @fizzer18

The ‘Stays extra in the gym award’ was one hotly disputed category, with Tim Howard displaying some ridiculously ripped abs in an edition of US sports mag, Sports Illustrated, and fitness and conditioning coach Dave Billows leading by example. But the winner is Sylvain Distin, for looking like he could bench press an articulated lorry and also being a dab hand at badminton.

The ‘Tim Cahill award for playing even when in nerve-shredding agony’ goes to...Tim Cahill (again) for getting himself back in shape to feature in the Toffees’ run-in despite an ongoing condition in his foot which apparently feels like running on broken glass.

‘Self-confessed superstition addict’ goes to Leighton Baines, who reluctantly stopped wearing a battered pair of boots he has sported for years this season, but still wears the same shin pads from his Wigan days, and STILL ties and unties his shoelaces on the pitch before every game.

‘Toni & Guy hair care’ award goes to Louis Saha (right). The King is the epitome of Gallic cool, and when quizzed on his slightly-odd dyed orange fuzz by Royal Blue, simply replied that he did it to make children laugh. That’s just how he rolls. Nobody argued.

The ‘Now I see what they mean when they witter on about the grass not always being greener...’ award goes to Steven Pienaar. Peanuts was as popular in the Goodison dressing room as he was with the fans, and although he’s now considerably richer; he is neither playing in the Champions League nor guaranteed a first-team slot. There’s every chance the happy-go-lucky South African will still be a hit at White Hart Lane, but he may well also rue the day he said yes to Harry Redknapp and bye to David Moyes.

The ‘Do that to my mate and you’re going down’ award goes to Mikel Arteta. Cast your minds back, a bad day was getting worse. West Brom were schooling Everton at Goodison, and Gonzalo Jara had just somehow avoided an early bath for a scandalous elbow on Leighton Baines. Cue the usually cool and collected Mikel Arteta to leave a size eight imprint on Jara’s thigh and earn himself an early breather.

And finally . . .

The ‘How to almost have your head removed from your shoulders by an irate Scotsman’ award: Goes to ref Martin Atkinson, who unwisely blew up as Everton were mid-attack and chasing all three points against Manchester United in September. Moyes has had some impressive paddies at Goodison, but this was one of his finest.